Just the way I'm feeling
by speckleification
Summary: Griffin/OC one shot.


The war in Chechnya waged on around him, soldiers presumed him dead, the boy stuck in the broken pylon. Griffin O'Connor was not a happy bunny; another of his kind had jumped him in there and then left. Jumpers. People who could jump through space to anywhere in the world at any time. There ere those who hated the Jumpers, a highly religious group of people called Paladins. They believed that only God should have the power to be in all places and those who possessed such powers did not deserve to live. It was war; a secret war that has raged on for many many years and its this war that gives us our story.  
Eliana let out a large sigh, today had just been one of those days. It was tough working ten-hour shifts at the hospital but nine times out of ten it was very rewarding work. Today they had been flat out all day and she was exhausted, her feet were blistered and her back muscles tight, she rolled her neck trying to ease a little of the stiffness. She thought to herself of the evening ahead, take away food, a trashy DVD and a nice hot bubble bath to finish with. She had six days of peaceful bliss to look forward to after that and just the thought of it made her grin. It was approaching autumn and she was taking her customary six-day holiday, just like she did every year.  
She snuggled down a little further into her duvet, a contented sigh escaping her mouth before she yawned and peacefully dropped off to sleep. She awoke screaming as a large body dropped out of nowhere onto her bed. She punched and kicked at the body, screaming at it. It wasn't until the body swore loudly in a strong Irish accent that she took a second to really look at her attacker, her jaw hung open in shock, surely it couldn't be but there was no mistaking those eyes. "Griffin?" she asked disbelief in her voice "Griffin O'Connor?"  
"Do you know any other bloody Griffins?"  
"Wha- what are you doing here?" He just groaned in response attempting to sit up "oh god, you're hurt, sta- stay still" she got up quickly and scrambled over to him, her eyes roaming his body, taking in the various degree burns littered all over his body. He groaned again and muttered a few expletives. She just rolled her eyes at him, knowing that his potty mouth would only get worse if she chastised him. "Ok, lets get you up onto the bed properly and your gonna need to take off that shirt"  
"I've only been here two minutes and you're already undressing me, now that's the Eli I remember." She just ignored him and helped him into her bed properly before helping to remove his shirt. She couldn't help but feel a little tug on her heartstrings as she saw the full extent of the damage. A few tears threatened to spill so she quickly turned, ordering him to stay still and hurried from the room in order to fetch bandages and salves for his burns. She gave herself a mental slap and took a deep breath before hurrying back into her room. He was still there, still lying there in her bed, his t-shirt still on her floor where she left it. She dressed his wounds in silence, ignoring his groans and swear words. He really should learn to control his language. "Just rest, sleep in peace for a while" She murmured stroking his hair softly. She smiled at him and turned to leave, he reached out and grabbed her hand as she passed. He looked up at her with those big eyes and she felt her heart shatter all over again. "I'm not going anywhere" he smiled and closed his eyes, his breathing evened out, he was finally sleeping. She released his hand and went to go get some coffee, it was going to be a long night.  
Four times Griffin awoke, screaming, fighting off the invisible predators that plagued his mind. Each time she held him, cradling him in her arms, soothing him with her soft words, silently praying for him to come back to her. Each time he awoke it broke her heart, seeing him this way. The lump in her throat got larger, threatening to burst forth and bring with it a monsoon of tears but she just swallowed hard. Braving the pain, forcing it all back deep down inside. Eventually after eight hours of fitful sleep he finally settled and she took the opportunity to redress his wounds and assess the damage in daylight. It was close too ten am and she didn't want to rest in case he needed her. So much for a nice relaxing holiday.  
Griffin awoke with a start, fearing he was still stuck in that pylon, cursing aloud when his wounds smarted. He cursed David and that stupid girlfriend of his. He sat up, feeling the weakness of his body and growled, he hated being weak, not being in control. She hurried into the room, large bags under her eyes and her hair a mess. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. She'd forgotten how stubborn he was, he would never rest or do anything she asked of him. It was always done his way and for some reason she liked it.  
The next few days were hell for her; he wouldn't rest and certainly wouldn't stop swearing. They rowed a lot about his language, his behaviour and his general lack of respect for her privacy. He had taken to walking into her room without knocking, even while she was in the shower.  
"Griffin, this has got to stop! I need my privacy, you have no respect for me at all. I am not here to be your bloody childminder!"  
"I never asked you to take me in!"  
"What so when you land in the middle of my bed in the middle of the night I'm supposed to just kick you out the door?"  
"Why can't you say it huh? Why don't you do it anymore? It's not like it's something you can just forget. Jumping is a gift! Yet you refuse to use it, to have anything to do with it"  
"Oh, and I wonder why the hell that is!"  
"Well please enlighten me, 'cause I don't bloody know you anymore!"  
"Know me? We haven't spoken in two years and three months. Of course you don't know me. I can't move on from the mess that you leave me in every time. You just waltz in here and expect me to come back into your arms just because you say so and I can't do it any more Griff, I just can't"  
"Can't what? Can't jump?" he was confused, not fully understanding what she meant, he had always wanted to know why she just stopped jumping, they had made a brilliant team, waging war on the Paladins like one mind together. Until one day after a particularly brutal fight she had just gone. She left while he lay sleeping in their bed, he always slept well after they had sex.  
It took him eight months to track her down and by then she had a new life all mapped out. A new flat, a new style, a new job, a new Eliana. He stopped by every few weeks, when things were quiet but he never stayed long. After a while his visits became more and more irregular until he finally stopped coming. He would jump to the area every now and again and watch her from afar but never for too long, his heart ached for her, he yearned for her touch, her kiss but he knew he'd never be able to give her the life she wanted. It wasn't safe for her with him and it killed him to think like that but the drive to rid the world of Paladins was too strong, sometimes it consumed him to the point he didn't know himself anymore. It scared him to have that part of him inside him, it was always niggling away at him.  
"Look at you, you're a mess. See this is why I gave it all up, I can see it in your eyes this war, it's consuming you. Sometimes I look at you and I don't know who's looking back. I was so scared, so scared. I gave up so much to be with you Griffin. And I don't regret that, I don't but I hate what it is doing to you, doing to all the others, just like you and me, one day they are going to come for me, Griffin-"  
"-You know I wont let that happen" the tears in her eyes heartened him, he opened his mouth to carry on but her soft finger on his lips halted his reply.  
"One day they are going to come for me, we both know it's true, we were young and reckless and in love and I am still in love with you Griffin. That's why I won't jump anymore because they will come for me and use me to get to you and I can't stand the thought of that happening, I don't want things to end like that." she was crying heavily now, the lump in her throat had been let loose and there was nothing she could do to stop it, she reached out for him, her hands shaking with pure emotion, she needed him to hold her, to let her know everything was alright, that he didn't hate her for her choices, it was all for him. All for him, for Griffin.  
He grasped her trembling hands and held them tightly in his own. He couldn't comprehend it all, he needed time to process it but she needed him more for now and so he took her in his arms and one thing lead to another, he wasn't taking advantage of her, merely trying to show her how he really felt.


End file.
